fooseballersRichard Wong M'07
|Peter is confused by the sudden declaration of thumb war|
It’s nearly 11am and an eerie silence permeates the student lounge. A twinge of a freshly scrubbed field and newly oiled rods mingles with the usual smells of plastic furniture and booby trapped lunches laced with the unknown funk of some wronged medical student. Then at the stroke of the hour a thunderous crack lightnings through the room, and like some Olympian tale gods race across the field in great contest, small gods…small plastic gods… with no pants…that like to play soccer. That’s right true believers: foosball. We know you’ve seen us, sometimes heard us, occasionally smelled us, and now you can read about us.
On Thursday March something the fifteenth annual Foose-Ball commenced. Under a sky of multicolored balloons we all lined up for the big dance. Throwing our lots to the whims of chance the teams were drawn, the brackets set, and the games begun. The following is a brief wrap-up of the tournament.
Sweaty palms Grant and Yen “Wild-thing” Truong made for an effective duo as team Sweaty Thing. In an early upset the two handed a surprising defeat to the highly ranked powerhouse of Adam Wild Wild Weston and Slowball Sung Choi. Here is a brief transcript from that match.
(after an early goal by team Wild Ball)
Choi: You cannot deny the Asian Flexibility! You hear that Mr. Zelken, yes there is a Santa and he’s a rowdy Korean dropping bombs like some tin star imperial state.
Weston: Yeah! You gets the best when east meets west.
Choi: Dude why you gotta go racial?
(but in the end the tenacious Sweaty Thing prevailed with
a 2-1 victory)
Troung: You like that monkey @$#(@!!#%@ poop blender ($%*@#@!. Asian flexibility? I’ll show you Asian flexibility!
But as the hours progressed three teams became the evident favorites for the final match-up.
Team Boy Band: Royce “triple nipple”
Chen and Justin Lee the Teen Sensation
Team Effort: Robert “no surrender” French and Brian “I don’t need a nickname” Wolk
Team Overrated: Peter “(22/2)+8 = no problem” Monteleone and Richard “I’m not only the
president I’m a member too” Wong
The match-ups for the three teams found the seemingly unstoppable Boy Band being beaten by the solid team effort of Team Effort. Thus sending the victors to the top seed in the final bracket. To fill in the other berth in the finals Team Overrated soundly trounced Team Baby Seal in straight sets. The unlucky Baby Seal had no chance when faced with relentless blows at the hands of Monteleone. The following quotes were taken from Team Seal after the match.
Jane “cuddle monkey” Rosen :
“I was distracted by the rock hard ass of Teen Sensation”
Mark “I like alliteration” McClain : “Me too.”
|1st place "Team Effort" cuddle and flick each others nipples.||2nd place "Team Overrated" prepare to kiss their sisters.|
|3rd place "Team Boy Band".||Don't let the haircut fool you, they actually aren't related.|