Anatomy News
Trevor Emory M'07
Love Muscle Found
LOS ANGELES, CA - Researchers at the R. Jeremy Institute for Sexual Advancement say they have found the true "love muscle." After years of intensives research, the Extensor Carpi Radialis Brevis has now been identified as the masturbatory muscle. At one time, the extensor Pollicis Longus was thought to be the muscle that so many pimple faced teens hypertrophied on lonely Saturday nights, but no longer will medical students be taught that misnomer. Ana L. Wink, head of research, could not be reached for comment. The study was sponsored by Jergens.
Simpson's Anatomy
SPRINGFIELD, (?) - C. Montgomery Burns, the frail octogenarian and Springfield tycoon has been diagnosed with "wrist drop." Mr. Burns has long attributed his impotence to the years of unprotected exposure to uranium, but now the characteristic flaccid wrists that have been seen to flap under hand-driers have been properly diagnosed. Mr. Burns suffers from a radial nerve injury, presumably in the radial groove of the humerus. This sort of injury would not entirely paralyze the triceps brachii, but would affect the function of the wrist extensor muscles.
Maid Monica
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Prepatellar bursitis is usually a friction bursitis caused by friction between the skin and the patella. This condition used to be referred to as "housemaids knee" since it was common from all of the time spent cleaning the floors on their needs. However, it has recently been referred to in the New England Journal of Medicine as "Monica Lewinsky's knee." The floors of the Oval Office are reportedly very harsh on the knees. Repeated gratification of the president came at a price for Monica's knees. Monica could not be reached for comment, but has been seen popping Aleve after meals.
El-Bermani's Digits
BOSTON, MA - Reports that Walid El-Bermani's ATM pin number has been circulated by the M07 class during an anatomy review session have been confirmed. The students were able to disguise the numbers in a mnemonic designed claimed to teach the order of the extensor muscles of the wrist tendons as they pass over the carpal bones. El-Bermani has issued the following statement to those students, "@$#! *&@%. Do you think I am so stupid as to make 22-12-11 my @#! ATM code. Did you get that! You @#!&."