BACK IN BLACK
By: Will Grandin M'07
Black Team (Record 0 - 4)
The Black Plague is undoubtedly the flagship team of the TBA, and league officials were thrilled to see the group back for the Spring Season. This squadron of over-eager M'07 MD/MBAs has been described as "all business." In fact, many of the players are using the TBA as a springboard to more lucrative basketball careers in Tasmania, Sri Lanka, and Uzbekistan. Modeled in part after their compatriots from the southern hemisphere, the New Zealand "All Blacks" rugby club, The "Black Plague" has an unusual style which features what opposing teams have called "controlled chaos." Controlled Chaos, a scheme designed and implemented by offensive mastermind Loraine Wu, involves what initially appears to be a completely crazed and indecipherable series of movements but, upon closer inspection, is really an intricate ballet of weakside screens and leg sweeps designed to take the other team out of their rhythm. The key ingredient to "controlled chaos" in undoubtedly Michael Madanat, whose gentle demeanor off the court gives no indication of his ferocious basketball intensity. Defenders have noted that it's virtually impossible to stay with Madanat, and, when he does get the ball, it's impossible to predict what he might do with it. His tenacious style doesn't come without a price, and Madanat recently sustained a vicious inguinal ligament tear that may limit his productivity.
The team's inherent athletic ability should not be underestimated, as the Black Plague lineup includes former Stanford gymnast Bobby Osterhoff, former Manchest United striker Legrand Reynolds, and former Nebraska state high-school badminton champion Kevin Ollington. Osterhoff is instant offense coming off the bench and will certainly be a nominee for this year's Sixth Man Award while Reynolds is a masterful ball handler and vocal clubhouse leader. Ollington is clearly the team's most deadly offensive weapon and the player the Black Plague goes to in the clutch. Sometimes compared to Celtic-great Kevin McHale (although some feel it really goes no further than the first name), Ollington can often be seen wheeling and dealing in the paint with a dazzling array of low-post moves. Complementing Ollington's offensive prowess is Rebecca Rhee, whose interior defensive presence has all but stifled even the most potent offenses. Rhee is a devastatingly effective shot blocker, and, after sending an opponent's shot sailing into the stands during a recent game, Rhee barked, "Get that sh*$ out of my house, bitch!"
Remarkably the team has sprung back from the devastating loss of Robert "Air Robierre" Rix, at one time among the league's most intimidating low-post players, who went down with a nasty knee injury during the Fall season opener. After struggling through the rest of the season, team captain (and, dubiously, league commissioner and head of the referees union) Sachin Shah hoped to rebuild and looked to the free agent market in the off season, picking up Tuan Tran and Jonathan Zelken. Tran defected from the Orange Team, citing irreconcilable differences with team management, and was all too eager to bring his ball handling/hogging skills to his MBA mates. Zelken, on the other hand, was a free agent who spent last Fall in a sadistic training regimen that included underwater erging and wind sprints in over-sized leather boat shoes. Tran has taken over some of the point guard duties while Zelken gives the Black Plague a much-needed big body inside as well as tenacious defense and rebounding. Finally, the squad is awaiting the return of Abi Gopal, at one time considered the second-coming of John Stockton, who is currently on personal leave and reportedly competing in bass fishing tournaments throughout Mississippi.
While the Black Plague has yet to win a game this season, it is clear that the team is still gelling and finding its personality. Opponents should not underestimate this squad's potential for a late-season run, and they could be a dangerous spoiler in the playoffs.