Headline Stories
Yankees Acquire Cuban Pitchers
Charlie McCormick M'08Havana, Sept. 9-In a stunning move with uncertain geopolitical ramifications, Yankees owner George Steinbrenner today announced that his organization had concluded negotiations with Cuban leader Fidel Castro to acquire wholesale the dictator's island-including its lucrative wellspring of pitching talent-for an undisclosed sum. "This is a win-win situation," Mr. Steinbrenner was quoted as saying to reporters after the announcement, while putting out a cigar in a rhinoceros-foot ashtray. "Just look at how many important players have come off of that island. And think of how much talent hasn't made it over. Instead of the mess of defecting or getting smuggled across, I thought to myself while bathing in Montrachet '78 champagne one night, 'It would just be so much easier to buy the whole damn island.'"
The 10 Worst Places in Boston to Need CPR
Ryan Morrissey M '0710. In front of your ex-boy/girlfriend: "Oh, don't even pull that crap on me!" (even if that #@*!$ helps, the PTSD that will follow gives me shivers) 9. On the T: "Next stop: Charles/MGH" 8. On a sailboat: "…"
When you start running out of things to talk about…
Laurel vuongie M'08 and So Mo M'08Top 10 M'08 Orientation Conversation Starters in the order they were asked 10. Hi! What's your name? 9. Where are you from? 8. What school did you go to?