Anatomy Lab of the Future
Kate Couturier and David Einstein, M'11
After countless hours spent dissecting and sniffing fumes, we naturally began to contemplate a better world, the utopia of anatomy labs. Like great revolutionary minds before us, we sought to remedy the woes of the everyman, the lowly first-year medical student; also like those great revolutionaries, many dead bodies would be involved. Here is what we think the anatomy lab of the future might contain. You may hum the "2001: A Space Odyssey" music to yourself as you read.
- Glass-bottom tables
- Robotic cadaver-turners
- Wet-dry vacuum
- Pneumatic tube for disposing of material
- No-spill, sippy-cup-style bucket
- Liposuction machine, especially for the gluteal dissection
- El-Bermani-avoidance cloaking shields
- Scalpel-proof vests to withstand El-Bermani attacks
- Taking up Dr. Jacobson on his constant endorsement of computerized Netter's: PDA access at all tables
- Season tickets to the Red Sox, courtesy of Dr. Jacobson
- Personal itch-scratchers
- Flight-attendant-style call buttons to bring professors over (complete with beverage service)
- Massage devices and back-scratchers lining the walls
- Pee-Wee’s Playhouse-style reaction every time Dr. Stearns says, “you’re welcome.”
- Hover stools
- Samurai-steel scalpel blades, forged by hand and forever sharp
- Some funky tunes to liven up lab
- Designer body-bags: Burberry, velour, etc.
- Daylight (skylights, perhaps?)
...with deep respect for the selfless volunteers who donate their bodies to our education.